Italy road trip #9 Rome to Florence via Orvieto

To break up the long drive from Rome to Florence we stopped at a couple of points asking the route. The most memorable of which was Orvieto. I think this is the type of mountain top village that many British people go to Italy specifically to see. It was wonderful. Second and fourth photos are the view from the little cafe where we stopped for coffee. It was a courtyard with nuns and Italian postmen going about their business. Orvieto was a long way up, and has striking stone wall defences and quite a history that I only read about once we were home.

Had we known what an interesting and pretty place it was we might have spent a night here instead of pushing on to Florence. There were quite a few pottery shops but the prices were a but high. It's also a wine region so we did manage to choose a couple of bottles to bring home.

If you take a wrong turn in Orvieto and find yourself in a street that is just one car width you get shouted at big time, with fists waving! Bloody satnav is all I can say!

We loved Orvieto but were excited to get to Florence...

Italy road trip #8 Rome - Hydromania!

You can call me many things but chicken is not one of them. You see that orange topped slide in the top and last photo? Yep, that's the one to avoid if you're over forty and with a delicate derrière. Ouch. You hit the water at goodness knows what speed with the full force on your bottom. It hurts. I did it twice thinking that I'd be able to cross my legs for the second landing, nope. E didn't like the look of it and M wouldn't have survived it. So Jake and I climbed the many stairs to get to the top not once but twice, in fact Jake went a few more times after I stopped.

We were lucky to catch foam time. A klaxon sounds and everyone starts running to a certain spot and foam is sprayed onto everyone below. It was quite good fun. That's Jake on the right, not wanting to open his eyes in case it stung. It did. There was an annoying little rule that you couldn't go back in the pools without rinsing it off, and the only showers were icy cold. We learnt that the hard way!

We also went on the wiggly blue one and the wavy yellow one; quite tame compared to a green and yellow one that started off quite nicely being able to see where you are going but totally encased in a tunnel, the latter half is completed completely blind while you are being thrown around in the tunnel at high speed not knowing when you're going to hit the water. Yuk. We sat and watched people's faces coming out of that slide for a while!

After all that excitement J and E were happy to go and join the wave pool sessions (second photo, E and J centre). I was happy to snooze under one of the red parasols on the extremely comfortable sun beds.

If you are ever in Rome, it's a lovely water park. Lifeguards everywhere and quite strict. Clean and tidy except for the toilets which I'm afraid seems usual for Italy. In particular, the toilets nearest to all the slides and pools was just a ceramic hole in the ground. Yup. Bring your own toilet roll.

Tips we picked up from the Internet before going (toilet roll wasn't one of them but should have been), take your own picnic and go after 3pm when it gets a but cheaper. We made a day of it because it was on Jake's wish list but we did take our own picnic. Fresh plums, nectarines, huge apples, water melon, grapes and a few other bits and bobs!

Italy road trip #7 Rome

Gelato, gelato, always gelato. J insisted on it every day. It was good. Always home made. This one in Rome had thirty odd flavours. Pistachio, melon, Nutella, vienetta, wild cherry, limoncello, espresso, lime, after eight, coconut...

We had a wonderful apartment in Rome for a few days and nights. Air conditioning! Phew. Four floors up but with an old fashioned cage style lift and a great view. Once again I was up very early and sat by the balcony looking for signs of life. There were some beautiful window boxes. An old man came out at 6am and dead headed his red geraniums. Red geraniums seem to be very popular in Italy.

An afternoon at the Colloseum was only slightly spoiled by the weather. It was so hot! When we left the air conditioned car it hit us like a blast of heat. A short walk down a street and we were all struggling with the temperature. It was well over thirty that day. Just walking round the Colloseum we chose the route with shade. We stumbled into a nice cool cafe on the way back to the car and had two large bottles of water between us.

The children were very impressed with the number of orange trees in Rome. We picked a couple in a quiet side street, not knowing whether this was the done thing! Seemed a waste otherwise!

We weren't finished with Rome. Next stop, a tourist attraction of Jake's choice. Hydromania!

Italy road trip #6 Principina La Mere to Civitavecchia

Despite the lows of having a blazing row and not threatening divorce but promising it (me) we were in that funny position of having to carry on for the sake of the children.

Jake got upset and refused to believe that M had been 'snotty' as I was calling it by then. Jesus, where had that boy been? Plugged into his bloody iPod, that's where. E, who had also been plugged into her iPod but misses nothing agreed he'd been snotty since Dover. Mmmh, split family. I was just hoping for M to do one of his famous lines, 'well that's it then, I'm walking home!' That would have been absolutely hilarious and I think it would have cleared the air (though it would have been too much to resist just driving off and leaving him!)

With M sulking like a four year old who'd dropped his ice cream I took charge and we arrived at Principina La Mere. God only knows what the other families in the car park thought as we all spilled out, red eyed and banging doors and arguing even more. It was quite comic when I look back. M kept telling everyone to stop making a scene and I kept saying I don't give a f. We dumped our stuff on the beach and quick marched into the sea, leaving M sulking with the towels. The water was such bliss we were all soon laughing and splashing and floating and forgetting the nightmare of a morning. Eventually M joined us and all seemed calm. The problem with unfinished or unresolved arguments is that they don't quite go away.

On to the good stuff; Principina La Mere will always be a favourite spot of mine. You drive down a long avenue of pine trees before reaching the beach car parking. True, it is probably the windiest beach on the Italian coast but that didn't seem to spoil things, quite the opposite actually in 31 degree heat.

There were markets stalls along a section of the avenue and cafes and gelaterias. E and I bought leather sandals, mine natural and hers in red. Instantly comfortable they have walked miles round major cities and not rubbed or worn out. Oh and the penguin. Yes the penguin. E is still quite fond of penguins so on our way to the next hotel she made M stop in the middle of madly busy traffic so she could buy him. Normally this would have been out of the question and we'd have had an earful for even suggesting he stopped in the middle of what looked like rush hour just for a blow up penguin but since the big bust up M suddenly started being much nicer.

Jake bought himself some flip flops in the colours of the Italian flag and while he was faffing about trying to find some big enough, I happened to spot a whole shelf of crochet magazines! Jackpot! When they eventually found me in this little corner of the shop I was flicking through my tenth magazine with a big smile on my face. The vast majority had diagrams rather than written instructions so I chose the most interesting five of those and resisted the temptation to buy the whole lot. I now wish I had because they weren't so easy to locate after that. La Stampa's were everywhere but I just didn't fancy asking the newsagent to get a selection out from behind glass so I could browse and choose.

J was chief hotel booker whilst on holiday. We gave him the location, budget, and essential things like, en suite bathroom, wifi etc. He surfed, pondered and eventually came up with accommodation which was absolutely spot on. He was also determined to try and book as many hotels with swimming pools as he could but only managed that in Cecina (where he had a late night and early morning swim on his own). The room he booked in Civitavecchia was an unusual arrangement. It was above a railway station! It was absolutely brand spanking new and after some old crumbly bathrooms we were glad of the modern IKEA decor. It had a fantastic bathroom, bunk beds for the kids, a comfy double for us and the view that Jake is looking at in the picture above.

We arrived at about 8 o clock at night. It was still extremely warm. We had a really nice evening in Civitavecchia because everything was within walking distance. We started off along by the sea, where there were more stalls, cafes etc. There was an entire cafe just devoted to water melon. You could have a drink with your water melon but that was the only thing on the menu apart from water melon. Had we not stuffed our faces with pizza we might have tried it out. Dinner was at a rustic bar/cafe pizzeria. Plain wooden tables outside and in. Homemade pizza made on a stone slab in front of you. A half carafe of white wine, mostly to myself. By now the children were grading their pizzas from one to ten and Civitavecchia scored 10. We had sweet and salted corn on the cob afterwards from a stall by the beach, it was very cheap and very tasty.

Everywhere you go in Italy at night there are men selling complete rubbish. The most popular thing was a lit up missile that was fired with a bit of plastic and an elastic band. Quite effective I must say, they were landing on statues and balconies and lost forever. One little boy of about three was standing alone outside an open air cafe while his parents ate and chatted and drank wine. He flicked it up several times reasonably successfully and then managed to flick the band up in the air and not the missile. We heard a shrill wail of 'papa papa papa' then a whole load of Italian that we could only guess was, 'I've lost my elastic band and now I can't fire my lighting up thing'. Oh his little face was so cute. So the four of us set about trying to find his elastic band and I found it down by the wall. I gave it to M who gave it to the boy who promptly accused M of hiding it all along! The Father told him to say sorry and thank you. Then he said thank you in English to us (we must look English by the way) and the boy was happy once more. Is there anything cuter than 'si papa'? Yeah Dad just isn't the same!

Next stop Rome!

Italy road trip #5 Lerici to Cecina

That's E and J with the yellow lilo that Jake insisted on buying. I must confess we all had to fight to have a go on it. There were no worries about drifting out to sea. None of the places we swam seemed to be tidal. We spent the best part of three days on beaches and the water lapped up to the same line all day long.

I'm not sure if the Italian men all line up at the waters edge to a. Watch all the women in bikinis (this is the vast majority, in fact I don't think I saw any one piece swimming costumes at all) or b. Get a more even tan or c. Watch their kids in the water. The more I watched the more I eliminated c, and decided it was a combination of a and b. Either way it was quite amusing, especially if they were particularly muscly and stood with their hands on their hips.

We learnt about another aspect of Italian culture whilst on the evening road trip between Lerici and Cecina. The Italian Road Accident. Fairly common occurrences we were told. Traffic was slowed down by a police man waving a big red lollipop (air traffic control style) and once we had all come to a stop, lo and behold all the men started getting out of their cars. Being British we assumed they knew they were in for a long wait and would stand around chatting to each other whilst traffic was stationary. No, not at all, they got their phones out and their cigarettes and they trooped down in droves to see what was going on, who was hurt, how bad the cars were smashed up...really! Not only that but the women all smiled and laughed to each other whilst remaining in the cars. When it was partly cleared we wove in and out of men and parked cars and the poor guy on the stretcher had no privacy whatsoever.

By this time, and following the road rage incident, the vertical sunbathing and the road accident the kids had firmly decided, 'we love Italians!' Jake was in gelato heaven. M was thoroughly embracing the arm waving when drivers did something daft. E was loving the hot weather and I was making mental notes of which resort we might choose for the duration of the next holiday.

Unfortunately the following day was not a good day. M had crashed out in Cecina, into a sleep that was bordering on comatose. Meanwhile I managed to slice a finger knuckle into ribbons by shoving my hand into a wash bag with a razor in it. Man, it bled such a lot. I grabbed the nearest cloth item which happened to be a white towel and tried to wake M for some help. I shoved and shouted and he didn't even stir. I managed to rinse it, squeeze it and then got E to wrap a large plaster round it tightly. It bled all night and I used up all the large plasters we had. By morning M was of course oblivious, and instead of a bit of sympathy decided to be the husband from hell.

You know those moods where someone is short, snappy, sarcastic, monosyllabic, unhelpful... I could go on. Well that was our entire morning, right up til lunchtime. At lunchtime (and with my finger still dripping blood through the plasters) I finally ran out of patience and asked wtf was up. Irritatingly he thought he was being absolutely fine. This made my anger increase fourfold. I decided to get a few things off my chest (he had been challenging since Dover). He decided to deny everything. Divorce was mentioned. Definitely the lowest point in our entire marriage. What made it worse was driving in the wrong direction and realising too late that Grossetto was not only a town but also a region. So when the thermal spa we wanted to go to was in Grossetto, it was the region and not the town. We got to Grossetto only to realise we were an hour away from the thermal spas and our aim, all holiday was only to only spend a limited time travelling each day. Note here that one of my requests before we left England was that in the event of problems, wrong turns, bad decisions, crisis, whatever, we would calmly discuss our available options. Huh. I counted twelve naughty f words in one sentence to which I replied calmly, 'well option one is to do the extra hour drive and get to the thermal spas and option two is to drive ten minutes to the nearest beach and jump in the sea.' I won't even tell you what his response to that was. It's unprintable.

We did the latter. It was 31.5 degrees and no-one wanted to drive any further, especially not with two adults in the front seat both with murderous thoughts!

Italy road trip #4 Noli to Sestri Levante to Lerici

The first three photos were taken in Noli, the last four in Sestri Levante. Our 'quadruple room' was in a hotel owned by nuns, but not run by them. Must be a rather lucrative business we thought, the hotel has it's own private beach and is just a few minutes walk from the sea. We liked Noli because it was clearly not a tourist hot spot. It was small and simple. Sestri Levante, on the other hand was popular with overseas tourists as well as Italians on holiday. There was a lot going on late at night, fun fair type things, stalls, bars, cafe's etc. The market stalls (pictured) were really expensive and mostly not very tasteful. We had fantastic ice cream though, which we ate whilst people watching.

Breakfast was an optional extra at Sestri so we decided to get croissants and cappuccinos on the way. This is breakfast Italian style apparently. There was no shortage of gluten free options in Italy, I'd say they are better than the UK. Every supermarket had a well stocked gf section and in one town I came across a sort of health food shop which had a huge section of gf foods.

Leaving Sestri Levante was the first (and last) time we decided to avoid the motorways and take the 'scenic' route. Cue smaller barriers and jaw dropping sheer drops. We seemed to be driving up and up and up and M had a bit of sweat on his forehead in a car with 17 degree air conditioning, I was holding on tight to the car door (I've no idea why that helped!) and trying not to say too much in case M took his eyes off the road. We eventually found one viewpoint that wasn't overgrown by trees and pulled in for a quick look down the valley. It was breathtaking but my iPod photos haven't turned out well at all. Hopefully Ella took some better ones on her DSLR. One false move, or silly shove and you'd be dead. I was glad to get back in the car.

We decided to check out another beach, this time Lerici. Even coming down the mountain into the region was breathtaking. One thing I couldn't photograph for lack of stopping places was the beautiful river we were occasionally beside and a couple of times drove over. The rivers seem to be as blue as the sea and the stones very white. In one part we saw sunbathers and swimmers, something that would be unthinkable in British rivers (though people do swim in them). I would have liked to have stopped there but the kids only had one thing in mind; swimming in the sea again, and who could blame them.

(If you're wondering why the photos mainly feature Jake, it's because he was more than happy to pose whereas his sister went berserk everytime I pointed the camera her way.)

Italy road trip #3 Turin to Noli

Turino has a number of markets on various days selling various things. I've no idea which area the one we visited was in (must consult the man who keyed in the satnav every day). The traffic was a little busy and we got stuck in a side street for a few minutes. The car in front decided to start beeping and waving his arms out of the car window. From nowhere sprung an Italian policeman shouting 'Calmati! Calmati!' which means calm down I guess. There was a lot of arm waving. It was all very amusing to the children in the back.

The market was busy and varied. Ella bought some black Ali Baba trousers very cheaply, with evenings of 28 degrees at ten o clock at night it was often too warm to wear them but she did make use of them during the two days we encountered storms. Jake's plan was to buy silicon wristbands for as many Italian football teams as he could, he found some for Turino. We also bought a whole kilo of ready to eat green plums which were delicious. I was pleased to see a sort of haberdashery type stall. I wish I'd taken a photograph but it was just too busy. We had only just learnt the numbers from one to ten at this point, and the Italian for 'how much is this?' so I put both to good use and established that the raffia yarn was 3 euros and I asked for tre raffia which came to nove euro. The woman was so friendly and helpful despite speaking not a word of English, showing me a sample hat crocheted using raffia. She even looked in boxes for more colour choices. The photo is a bit bleached out (my little iPod couldn't cope with all the bright light) but the raffia is actually a variegated blue. It's about the same price in the UK once you've worked out the € to £ but I would have had to pay postage because I couldn't get it locally.

Very early one morning I woke before everyone else and sat at a sunny balconied window watching early morning joggers, people walking small dogs, an old woman tending to her window box geraniums whilst still in her thin white cotton night shirt. I sat there and started off a crochet hat with the raffia and when the old woman realised what I was doing she waved respectfully and nodded, perhaps with approval. It was a lovely moment. English/Italian, no words needed. I went on to learn that they really love crochet in Italy, particularly the older women.

The heat was intense. Cold Coca Cola never tasted so good. After the market we headed straight down to the coast to Noli for a swim. We literally dumped the car as soon as we could. Grabbed the pre packed beach bags with costumes and towels, found a small spot on the beach and ran down to the water. Straight in, all four of us. Warm as bath water. The children's faces were a picture. It was paradise.

Italy road trip #2 Dijon to Turin via Chambery

Calais to Dijon was just one continuous downpour. It was a bit of a miserable start to the holiday because the sun had been shining when we left Dover. It just gave Ella an excuse to moan more about France; bear in mind here that her French teacher has a lot to answer for.

Monsieur Bearnard (who did just shy of 3000 miles with us) had to be anchored to the dashboard by way of satnav cable, once secured he smiled the whole way, through downpours, air conditioning, arguments and eventually through extreme heat (the car registered 46 degrees after we left it parked for an hour in the sun).

We broke up the Dijon to Turin journey by stopping off at Chambery, which is now in France but apparently used to be Italian territory. I'm afraid I was rather tired by this point and only half listened to M explain the reason why. Very charming it was too. Once again we managed to stop during the deadly quiet break from 12-2. One tiny cafe was open and welcoming so we dashed in to shelter from the rain and had fun trying to order lunch. Ella's school French doesn't seem to have included the word for tuna which is what she accidentally got inside a baguette, thankfully she likes tuna. Thon baguettes in France and 'Tonno pizze' in Italy. The cafe also had a large selection of Macarons which the kids have never tried. Coffee and chocolate flavours were chosen and scoffed in a nano second (after the pic).

The rain totally spoiled the view of the mountains on the way to Turin. We had to hope we'd see more on the way home. As we arrived in Italy the weather improved and we were all really pleased with the comfort factor of our hotel. The view was amazing. We were half way up a mountain and that last photo is the view to the right of where E and J are looking in the photo above. Snow topped mountains.

For the ridiculous price of €70 we had a room with a double and twin beds, air conditioning, a superb bathroom, a small fridge, a balcony and the best breakfast in Italy. We liked it so much we booked the same hotel for the return journey.

It is worth mentioning here that there are quite a few tunnels that go through mountains on the way to Italy. One of them, the Frejus tunnel (galleria) is about eight miles long and costs a whopping €43 to drive through. By the time you reach the end you can smell the fumes in the car and it really isn't a pleasant experience. The fun part was looking out for the small sign that told us we'd crossed from France to Italy.

Although a lot of the roads are literally on stilts above huge valleys with seriously big sheer drops it doesn't feel unsafe because the barriers are quite substantial. It's the minor mountain roads, ie. non motorway roads which have what might as well be Lego barriers. They certainly didn't impress me!

E and J insisted on pizza for our first meal in Italy. M decided on pizza too. We were first in this particular restaurant and the chef, once told that we were English, came to speak to us in his best English (which was as bad as our Italian). He said something like, 'I cook fish for you, si?' M said, well it's our first night in Italy and we really just want pizza. Cue crestfallen face. M apologised for that and then the chef came up with fifty different types of pizza's only to be told that the kids really only wanted plain old marguerita! Poor bloke. There were three staff and they each came and stood by the table as if about to perform an act. A vaguely English sentence would be spoken and then they eagerly awaited our reaction/reply. They were on more comfortable territory when we asked if we were saying the few Italian words we knew correctly. The female waitress, who was clearly oblivious to the fact that Jake was only 13, gave him much attention and credit when he spoke and said only his accent had been 'perfect'. She couldn't keep her eyes off him.

Everywhere we went the Italians seemed fascinated by the children. One woman serving gelato (jake insisted we buy this every day) just stared and stared until eventually she said to me, in very halting English, you're children are very 'belle' beautiful. How touching. I must add here that this was after Ella's hair went from lilac to green after swimming in the sea and a rich chocolate brown dye was hastily purchased and applied which brought her back to her natural colour (thank goodness!)