Winter walks, step by step...

Step one: leave your perfectly good 4x4 car at home and take the just cleaned family car two miles up a dirt track with more pot holes than tarmac.

Step two: breathe in the arctic air and make pleasant remarks about the lovely trees (husband doesn't give a toss about trees because he is wearing totally inadequate footwear).

Step three: tell the dog that if he thinks you are taking your gloves off in this weather to throw a muddy stick he can think again, then throw it a hundred times anyway.

Step four: come across lovely footbridge with rope and think how nice this area will be in twenty years time when the thousands of new saplings have grown.

Step five: admire teasel heads and try and take an arty photograph of them (and fail miserably)

Step six: try taking arty photograph of afore mentioned bridge instead and blame the weather and low light levels for dull photo.

Step seven: get out of the way fast when dog finds suitably deep and muddy puddle to hurtle through.

Step eight: load stinking, shivering, soaking wet dog into boot of car and remark (with totally numb face) how lovely the walk and fresh air had been.