Wednesday 3 June 2015

Wondering...




We were wondering today, E and I, just where those lovely small, slender wrists and hands came from. It certainly wasn't me. This happens a lot, this wondering. About her Dad. How can I tell her that he used to hold his hands up to mine and be constantly amused that mine were so big? How can I tell her about the hours I used to spend watching his hands pluck strings on his guitar? How can I tell her that those hands of his made the most beautiful marquetry boxes that I sometimes helped him design? How can I tell her that it breaks my heart to remember the two of them walking down the garden path when she was two, hand in hand, each with a watering can in the other hand, sharing their love of gardening?

E recently admitted she had reached that age where she'd quite like to ask him a few questions. So would I. Not even questions really, just another perspective. It's clear from the outside just how much she's inherited from him. They were always like two peas in a pod. It's the rest that I'd like him to make sense of for me. She is an incredible human being with so many amazing qualities, quite a few frustrating ones too, but I see those as short term phases. If he were alive today he'd totally understand her.

I stood in an art gallery this morning and It was weird because the space used to be his offices. I feel like I'm living a whole other life, in a time travel kind of way, if that makes any sense. A parallel universe maybe. Lots of 'if only's' which aren't useful.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, E asked for her own set of made to measure leather bracelets, and of course I was happy to oblige (more road testing ya know!). I made a whole bowl full of those wider leather wrist cuffs by upcycling an old belt with the same bead and lace fastening and she snaffled one of those too! I traded photos for my blog for leather goods. A fair deal I'd say because it's a devil of a job trying to photograph your own wrists!

2 comments:

  1. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to raise them without him. I think you're doing a really good job.

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